Ba Humbug…

I don’t know what it is but I’m just not feeling the Christmas spirit this year and I’m not sure why. Is it just me? I know it isn’t anything that is going on in my life. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier at this time of the year. I have my health, have been eating well, working out, and at 41, can still see my abs! My kids are smart, funny and are living fun, exciting, and adventurous lives. I am truly madly, crazy, insanely, and desperately in love with someone and she feels the same way. I have an amazing job, working with some of the smartest people on the planet and when I’m not traveling to beautiful campuses throughout the country, I’m sitting in my PJs at home working on a 30-inch Apple Display. I have nothing to complain about, and in fact haven’t felt this good about my life in a really long time.

It’s just that last year all my Christmas shopping was done by now. This year I haven’t even put my shopping list together yet. Last year I went to five or six Christmas parties, or what we now refer to as the “year end gathering.” This year I avoided all of them. Last year I ordered a whole bunch of cool personalized Starbucks gift cards and by now had mailed them out with the cool Christmas cards it took me two hours to pick out in Target. This year, I still haven’t bought the cards and everyone is going to get my card late, if I send them out at all. Last year I knew exactly what to get everyone in my life. I put things in frames, I made things, I ordered things weeks before. This year, I’m just not feeling it.

I don’t know why I feel this way so I thought I’d explore the possibilities…

Is it because Christmas came early this year? Doesn’t it feel like Thanksgiving was a week ago? How long do you think we can move at the speed we do today? The months feel like they are jetting by at warp speed. We are getting better at doing twice what we did ten years ago but at what price? It’s completely ok today to read and answer 200 emails. It’s completely ok today to work from 7:00 till 9:00, eat a cup of yogurt, go to bed and wake up at 5:00 AM to hit the spin class. Are we moving so fast that we are forgetting what it’s like to breath or just be board? When was the last time you went to a mall to just brose? If feels like everything we do has to have a purpose. When was the last time you “went for a drive” or just walked out of your house with no destination in mind? How are we ever going to be creative if our minds are never at rest to just wander and self discover?

Is it because of the economic environment we are currently in? Millions of Americans are losing their jobs, their homes, their savings, and their retirement funds. Maybe it just doesn’t feel right going out and buying the “ Commemorate legendary Yankee Stadium with this limited edition print signed by Yogi Berra” for $799.00 or “the Sanctuary from Bluelounge that conceals 11 built-in connectors and one USB port” for $129.00 (I randomly selected these items from the Skymall magazine from the seat pocket in front of me.) Maybe it’s just harder now to shop for people. I mean what is the perfect gift for someone who just lost his or her entire savings, or their home, or their job? A bag of groceries? A really cool piggy bank? Something just doesn’t feel right about going out and buying crap when the world is in the state that it’s in right now.

Speaking of crap, is it because there is just way too much crap in the world? With the current state of our environment, you really have to ask yourself, was all the damage we did to the planet really worth making hundreds of thousands of the 8-inch ceramic “Mexican taking a siesta next to a cacti” statue? I walk through a store and think about that when I see rows and rows of just pure crap. Dollar stores were born because we have way too much crap. Dollar stores are the bottom of the barrel of the crap we have but you don’t have to go into a dollar store to see what I’m talking about. Eighty-five percent of the retail stores in this country sell “absolutely pure non-essential unnecessary” crap. The Holy Grail example of this is Sharper Image. There is absolutely nothing in that store that you need. World Market is an example of a place that sells things you might need, like a small sofa couch for your tiny apartment, but also sells crap you absolutely do not need, like the African art piece that was mass produced somewhere in Tennessee or China. By the way, if you buy that “piece of art” in World Market, is it really a piece of art if there are 560,000 just like it? Then you have stores like Target, the ultimate blend of things you need (groceries, pillow cases, and laundry detergent) and things you don’t need (candle holders, plastic flowers, and mass produced pictures of Elvis Presley holding a Coke can).

Is it because I’m done with the whole Christmas set up and scam? Even though Christmas feels like it came quick this year, marketers started selling us Christmas the day after Halloween! In some cases, I saw the decorations going up a few days before Halloween. Christmas has become the make it or break it for the economy and that is sad, not to mention dangerous. Are we saying the entire state of our economy now rests on how much crap we buy and sell each other? Is that what it has come down to? Remember when we used to make things and sell them to other countries?

Not to mention the falseness of the entire season. I love getting shit from dumb asses because I live in Arizona. “I don’t know how you celebrate Christmas without the winter, or the cold, or the snow,” they say. “I could never do that. Christmas is supposed to be celebrated with cold weather and if you’re lucky, you get snow!” they tell me. I have to remind them that 90% of the Christian world celebrates the birth of Christ in warm weather. I remind them that all of the southern United States, Central America, all of South America celebrates Christmas when it’s at least 65 degrees (and I believe there quite a few Latinos who are Christen. I remind them that it’s warm in most of the Middle East and hot in the entire continent of Africa. I remind them that Australia and New Zealand are in the middle of their summers. So the entire, “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas” line would actually be more of a miracle than the birth of Christ in most of the Christen world!

Is it because you know that you have at best a 50-50 shot that the person you are giving something to will actually like or use the thing you get them. I find it fascinating to listen to people’s thought process when they are shopping for someone. You hear things like, “last year the gift she got me was worth $50 so I have to get her something that’s worth at least that.” Or, “I have to get my brother something, what can I get him for $20 bucks.” Or, ‘I’m just going to get my friends gift certificates because I know they are getting me gift certificates.” So basically you are just exchanging money. You spend $150 in gift certificates and get $150 in gift certificates? Does that really make sense?

So what’s the point of getting someone a hat, or a new shirt, or a pair of mittens, or scarf, or a gift certificate? What are you saying to that person with those gifts?

Of course this all applies to adults only, because with children, it’s different. It’s completely ok to go out and buy that niece the coolest Hot Wheels crash set you can get your hands on. If you remember being a kid, there is magic in opening up a present and seeing the glorious colors of the toy box! If you buy kids clothes for Christmas, you are an idiot. You are not bright enough to understand the world around you, and we all know you’re really just trying to impress the parent anyway. You want to buy your niece, nephew, grand kid, son, daughter clothes, sure, go ahead, but at least wait until they are 14. Until then, the $100 sweater you bought little Jimmy from J Crew to impress his mother, might get tossed with the wrapping paper from the $9.99 action figure he’s going to go to bed with for the next six months.

Maybe we need new rules for this whole Christmas thing. After all, we are all broke, unemployed, and homeless. If we’re not that, we are destroying the world by making crap no one needs so we should stop buying it all. What’s that you say? The crap we produce keeps the economy going? Without the crap, we wouldn’t have jobs you say? Well actually most of the crap we buy is made in another country so we’re really not helping the economy. Jobs that fix our decaying infrastructure, improve our crumpling schools, or jobs that build smart, fuel-efficient and greener cars the world needs, those are the jobs we need!

I think gifts should mean something to the individual and that should be the rule. So if you can’t give someone a gift that means something, maybe you shouldn’t be giving that person a gift at all. Also, just because someone gives you a gift doesn’t mean you need to get him or her a gift. If you give someone a gift that means something to him or her, the reward of the gift will be in his or her gratitude.

So instead of giving your kid’s 4th grade teacher a fake Coach purse you bought on the black market, give her a $100 gift certificate to Office Max to buy the class the supplies she usually buys from her own paycheck.

Instead of giving your mother a robe for the third time in eight years, find an old picture of her when she was young (around the time she gave birth to you would be cool) and get it blown up and framed with a list of all the great memories you have from being a kid.

Instead of giving your wife a pair of expensive diamond earrings she’s only going to wear twice, buy her a ticket to go see her best friend from college for a long weekend. Better yet, coordinate with her best friend’s husband, and you can both send them somewhere nice for a long weekend.

Instead of buying your best friend a gift certificate to best buy, get tickets to go see a band you both like, or find that first edition of that book you know she loves.

Instead of buying anything for anyone, maybe we can give the ones we love the best gift of all, or time and attention…but hey, what do I know, I just bought the Sanctuary from Bluelounge...












Merry Christmas!